Valentine’s Day as a Celebration of Higher Love
5 Practices to Cultivate the Highest Love within Yourself
For many, Valentine’s Day is wrapped in expectations, romantic gestures, societal norms, and external validation of love. What if we reclaimed it as a day of higher love - a sacred invitation to deepen our relationship with ourselves?
THE MYSTICS SAY…
Pages from Anthony de Mello’s Awareness: Conversations with the Masters
Releasing Old Narratives
Often, the way we experience love is shaped by old stories, cultural conditioning, past heartbreaks, or beliefs we’ve unconsciously absorbed. These narratives may have taught us that love must come from outside ourselves, that we must earn it, that we must conform to a certain way of being in order to receive it, or that it is reserved for certain relationships but not for the one we have with ourselves.
Fortunately, our old stories lose their power over us the moment they are witnessed. Their stronghold softens as we hear the words leave our lips for the 2nd, 3rd, or 100th time. Perhaps the narrative is so enmeshed with our identity that we need to hear ourselves repeat it again and again until we finally get sick of it. And then, in that moment, we promise ourselves, “This is it. This is the last time I hear myself affirm that I am at the effect of this pattern.”
The catalyst for evolution ignites, and we self-initiate growth.
This is what called me into circle—the opportunity to hear myself speak and to witness others express what we call “circle shares.” The sacred act of speaking our truths into the ether, placing love on the altar, allowing ourselves to be held in the embrace of tender gazes, unconditional acceptance, and warmth of presence.
Nobody in the circle is trying to fix or change us. Nobody is offering solutions, impositions, unsolicited advice, or projections. Because there is nothing broken. There is only the story we've carried, and the container of loving awareness so spacious that it allows us to separate the story from the who of the journey. We realize the old story is just something that happened. It’s not our entire identity.
When we hear ourselves repeat the same narrative, we notice the imprint it has left on our being. And in that noticing, something shifts.
We become aware. The awareness births objectivity.
From here, we ask:
How is this story serving me?
What protection does it offer?
What fear does it soothe?
So many of the stories we tell ourselves are the ego’s attempts to keep us safe. Safe from discomfort, embarrassment, rejection, harm. Safe from conditional love. But safety is not the same as freedom.
When we learn how to cultivate safety in our own bodies first and foremost, hitting the sacred pause button, havening, breathing into our nervous systems to interrupt & soothe amygdala potentiation, we liberate the being within us who no longer chooses to fall victim to the same old story.
True safety is found within. It is the space we create for ourselves to process, to witness, to shift. And in that space, we find the courage to write a new story. One rooted in self-love, freedom, and sovereignty.
So today, I invite you: Pause. Breathe. Witness your story. And then, when you're ready, decide what story you will tell next.
Perhaps a reclamation of Valentine’s Day as a celebration of self-love? This doesn’t mean rejecting romance; it means expanding our definition of love itself.
Here are some structures for self-guided meditations to assist you in honoring your own heart this year:
Reflection and meditation are powerful tools for transformation. Taking time to sit with our experiences, breathe into our emotions, and cultivate inner awareness allows us to integrate these shifts more deeply. While I dream of infinite time and space to guide community through every meditation that has supported my healing, our gatherings seem to pass by in the blink of an eye. Since I wasn’t able to offer the self-love meditations before we closed today’s call, I want to share a glimpse into the practices that have been most meaningful to me. I would integrate into my morning routine a focused sit upon my yoga mat, cacao in hand, guiding myself through these very meditations. May this collection of prompts help to support you on your journey of self-reconciliation and ultimately, self-love.
“The real work you have to do
Is in the privacy of your own heart
All of the external forms are lovely
But the real work
Is your inner connection” ~ Ram Dass
1. Self-Serenade
We have been conditioned to hear love songs as something external, meant for another. But what happens when you become the beloved?
Choose a song you currently associate with romantic love or love with another.
Next time you listen to it, allow the lyrics and melody to wash over you.
This time, direct every word inward. Imagine you belting the song out to yourself. Receive the devotion & adoration, directly into your own heart.
If emotions arise, welcome them. They are simply remnants of separation dissolving into wholeness.
Reflection:
How does it feel to be the recipient of your own romantic love? What shifts in your body as you sing to yourself?
2. The Golden Heart: A Breathwork Purification
You are whole. Even the fragmented pieces of you are simply shards of the same crystalline being.
Close your eyes and place a hand over your heart.
Visualize a radiant golden orb glowing at your heart’s center. It is warm, alive, pulsing with love.
With each inhale, imagine the glowing orb expanding, creating warm welcoming spaciousness. This warmth calls home all of your disowned fragments—every lost part, every separation of self, every shame and guilt-tripped fractal—gently return home to the mother ship. The golden glowing orb.
With each exhale, visualize the golden light expanding outward, filling all past experiences with shimmering, golden water. The golden rivers cleanse, purify, and soften the way you view the past.
Reflection:
What does your heart feel like after this practice? Which memories call for deeper healing?
3. Inner-Child Custody: Becoming the Guardian
There was a time when you needed someone to advocate for you, and maybe no one did. In that injustice, you experienced separation of self. And you are here now. You are the adult now. Let’s rewrite the moment.
Close your eyes and return to a memory where you, as a child, felt small, unheard, or unprotected. (Check in with your nervous system when choosing a memory. Be sure this is a place you feel safe revisiting in meditation.)
Imagine your adult self stepping into that moment. Feel your strength, your power, your presence. Your unwavering devotion to your child self.
Stand beside child-you. Look at the adults in the room—the ones who dismissed, neglected, ignored, silenced, or shamed you. Advocate for your child self. Say what needed to be said. Correct the imbalance. Notice their faces as you hold up the mirror to their lack of awareness.
Now, turn to child-you. Take in his/her expression as adult you is standing up, strong and confident.
Take your inner child by the hand. Tell that child what they most need to hear. Let them know you are here, now and always.
Ask them is there is anything they would like you to know as you return to your time & space.
Reflection:
How does your inner child feel witnessing you as their guardian? What words of reassurance does child-you long to hear?
4. The Sacred Pause: Receiving Your Own Love
Unconditional love flows effortlessly from our heart centers out to a pet, a child, a loved one. But what if you allowed yourself to receive the very love you give?
The next time you find yourself offering pure, unfiltered love—maybe you're singing songs about how cute your pet is, noticing how soft their fur is or petting their favorite spot, holding a child’s hand, or gazing at them with tenderness—pause.
Notice the vastness of your heart in that moment. Feel how effortlessly it opens, how infinite it is. Savor the moment.
Later in the day or week, when you noticed your tank is running low, perhaps you are starting to feel annoyed or irritable or stressed…
Hit the sacred pause button.
On your next inhale, breathe that entire capacity for love into your own heart.
Let it fill you. Let it remind you:
The love I give is the love I deserve.
Reflection:
How does it feel to turn this love inward? What shifts when you allow yourself to be the recipient of your own tenderness?
5. The Mirror of Compassion
We often look at ourselves through the lens of criticism, noticing every flaw, every perceived imperfection. Perhaps even allowing harsh-criticisms projected onto by others infiltrate our feedback loops. But what if we practiced seeing ourselves with the same love and compassion we offer to others?
Stand in front of a mirror and make eye contact with yourself.
Breathe deeply and observe the face looking back at you—not with judgment, but with curiosity and love.
Place a hand on your heart and speak words of kindness to yourself, as if comforting a dear friend.
If it feels natural, say out loud: "I see you. I honor you. You are enough just as you are."
Stay with this practice for a few moments, noticing any emotions that arise.
As you develop your practice further, invite flirtatious energy, giving yourself winks and blowing yourself kisses any time you catch a glimpse of your beautiful eyes in the mirror.
Reflection: How does it feel to witness yourself with love and tenderness? What shifts when you replace self-criticism with self-compassion and self-flirtation?
Each of these practices reclaims pieces of self-love that may have been misplaced along the way. You are always worthy of devotion. You are always whole.